I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
