Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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