yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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