Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
