I love black thongs
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
