is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
