dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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