looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
