Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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