jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
