I am in a vortex of obligation.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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