My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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