I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
