Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
