Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
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