he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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