Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
