What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
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