i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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