I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
