Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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