So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
