I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
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