I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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