She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
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