I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
