you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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