The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
