I'm lost and stupid without you.
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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