I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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