whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
