I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
