I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Randomize
