yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
