What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
