put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
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