I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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