I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Barsexuality is the new black.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
