i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
