There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
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