im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
