When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Randomize
