every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
You should frame my arrest warrant.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
