Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
