when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
