why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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