only if we run a train.
done.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
