Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
