Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
