JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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