i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
