Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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