dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
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